Help and Emergency Response, Inc. (H.E.R. Shelter)

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. This is a time and a campaign to amplify the needs of youth and their experiences with dating abuse. In his 2023 National Proclamation, President Joe Biden said “By recognizing the signs of dating and domestic violence, setting positive examples of healthy relationships that lift up instead of tear down, and making clear that abuses of power are never acceptable, we can build a culture where respect is the norm, dignity is the rule, and safety is the expectation – both online and offline.”

Dating violence is more common than many may think, especially among teens and young adults. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), about 16 million women and 11 million men who report experiencing intimate partner violence say it first happened before they were 18. These include instances of physical violence, sexual violence and stalking. Youth who are female, LGBTQ or unsure of their gender identity are all at a higher risk of experiencing teen dating violence, the CDC says. Dating abuse is an attempt by abusive partners to gain or maintain power and control and it comes in many forms. It can include physical, emotional, sexual or digital abuse. Abuse usually isn’t isolated – it forms a pattern of behaviors that often make the victim question their own self worth and become further established in the abusive relationship.

Teaching children and young people about healthy relationships and consent should start early with age-appropriate messages. Healthy relationship programs in schools aim to prevent or reduce teen dating violence by increasing awareness. Prevention is important because according to the CDC, teen dating violence has both serious short-term and long-term consequences. Even if programs can’t prevent incidents of violence from occurring, teaching young people about the signs of unhealthy relationships and the resources available, makes them better equipped to respond when needed to help their friends and themselves. Education and conversations around healthy relationships can also help dismantle damaging norms. As a society we have normalized so many unhealthy relationship behaviors that are key early warning signs of abuse – possessiveness, intensity, guilting. We need young people to understand that these behaviors are not ok.

While healthy relationships tend to have a positive effect on emotional development and future relationships, abusive relationships often do the opposite. Dating violence victims are likely to experience suicidal thoughts, antisocial behaviors, depression and anxiety, and engage in unhealthy behaviors such as alcohol and drug use. Adolescents in abusive relationships often carry these unhealthy patterns of violence into future relationships. Ultimately they can end up the victims or perpetrators of adult intimate partner violence.

Teen dating violence is an issue that impacts everyone – not just teens. Parents, teachers, friends and communities are impacted as well. Together we can raise awareness about teen dating violence and promote safe, healthy relationships. Everyone can make a difference by reaching out to young people in simple ways.

Discussing the warning signs of dating abuse (all kinds, not just physical)
Creating a positive connection to the issue – talk about the characteristics of healthy teen relationships, not just abusive ones.
Discuss how communication works in a relationship as well as consent, boundaries, respect, trust and honesty.

Talking about how the media portrays healthy and unhealthy relationships. For example, many popular movies, tv shows, commercials, books and magazines portray stalking as romantic or harmless when it is actually very dangerous.

For more information about teen dating violence please visit loveisrespect.org

If you or a teen you know is involved in an abusive relationship there is 24/7 help available by calling 1-866-331-9474 or by texting LOVEIS to 22522.

January is Human Trafficking Awareness Month

What Human Trafficking Is, and Isn’t

Human trafficking is the business of stealing freedom for profit. In some cases, traffickers trick, defraud or physically force victims into providing commercial sex. In others, victims are lied to, assaulted, threatened or manipulated into working under inhumane, illegal or otherwise unacceptable conditions. It is a multi-billion dollar criminal industry that denies freedom to 24.9 million people around the world.

Force, Fraud, or Coercion

U.S. law defines human trafficking as the use of force, fraud, or coercion to compel a person into commercial sex acts or labor or services against his or her will. The one exception involves minors and commercial sex. Inducing a minor into commercial sex is considered human trafficking regardless of the presence of force, fraud or coercion.

How Many People are Trafficked in the U.S. Yearly?

In 2017, Polaris worked on 8,759 cases of human trafficking reported to the Polaris-operated National Human Trafficking Hotline and BeFree Textline. These cases involved 10,615 individual victims; nearly 5,000 potential traffickers and 1,698 trafficking businesses. Human trafficking is notoriously underreported. Shocking as these numbers are, they are likely only a tiny fraction of the actual problem.

How Many People are Trafficked in the U.S. Yearly?

Who are the Traffickers?

Perpetrators of human trafficking span all racial, ethnic, and gender demographics and are as diverse as survivors. Some use their privilege, wealth, and power as a means of control while others experience the same socio-economic oppression as their victims. They include individuals, business owners, members of a gang or network, parents or family members of victims, intimate partners, owners of farms or restaurants, and powerful corporate executives and government representatives.

How do Traffickers Control Victims?

Traffickers employ a variety of control tactics, the most common include physical and emotional abuse and threats, isolation from friends and family, and economic abuse. They make promises aimed at addressing the needs of their target in order to impose control. As a result, victims become trapped and fear leaving for myriad reasons, including psychological trauma, shame, emotional attachment, or physical threats to themselves or their family.

If you need assistance, please call the HER Shelter Hotline 24/7 at 757-485-3384 or the National Trafficking Hotline 24/7 at 888-373-7888

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

When we think of domestic violence, most of us picture a man having control over a woman, and while that can be true, that is not always the case. Domestic violence can look different for a lot of individuals and a lot of communities. An abuser is not limited to any one person of any one gender or sexuality. Unfortunately, there is not much research done on interpersonal violence in the LGBTQ+ community and not many resources for these survivors.

The Statistics

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV)

43.8% of lesbian women and 61.1% of bisexual women have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner at some point in their lifetime, as opposed to 35% of heterosexual women.
26% of gay men and 37.3% of bisexual men have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime, in comparison to 29% of heterosexual men.
Transgender victims are more likely to experience intimate partner violence in public, compared to those who do not identify as transgender.
Bisexual victims are more likely to experience sexual violence, compared to people who do not identify as bisexual.

Some misconceptions about DV in LGBTQ+ communities:

When there is violence in same sex relationships, both parties are abusing eachother.
Violence between gay male partners is normal, it’s what men do.
Abuse is less common in same sex relationships.

What is stopping individuals from getting help?

Understanding the signs: Women have stated that when in a relationship with a man, it is easier to see the signs of abuse than when that same woman was in a relationship with another woman, this can delay the process of seeking out services.

Outing: Another barrier to receiving services is when individuals are not “out,” partners may use that as a way to silence their partners, putting fear in them which decreases the chance of seeking out help. Not only does this keep them from receiving services but this is also a form of emotional/psychological abuse.

Fear of being stereotyped: Many survivors have doubts about whether or not they would be believed if they went to seek help based on gender stereotypes, which in turn could make the situation dangerous for the survivor.

Fear of prejudice within the system: Certain advocates in the criminal justice system can have biases against certain populations, this can deter survivors from coming forward in fear of resulting in more violence.

Resources available to the community:

https://www.cuav.org/ CUAV supports the healing of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer people that have experienced violence and abuse by other people and /or institutions.

https://lgbtlifecenter.org/ipv/ Life Center in Norfolk, VA.

Michelle Shares HER Story

While Michelle has a tragic story of domestic violence, she came to Help and Emergency Response and found the resources she needed to build a new life for her and her children. We are so proud of the hard work she did to become an independent, successful woman!

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